I Hate the Things You Like: cool weather accessories

I do not really have a particular reason for writing this aside from just wanting to complain about SOMETHING on this fine morning. Since its a nice cool day here in Orlando (69degress), that means its time for all you mother fuckers to get out your cold weather gear. But wait… It is not nearly cold enough to start wearing scarves, gloves, leggings, right? WRONG. All you indie hipster mother fuckers busted that stuff out over SUMMER. The cold weather just means its time to further over accessorize. Basically, the jokes on you; it is Florida and will be in the mid-80’s by noon, no doubt.

Just because you bought these things doesn’t necessarily mean you have to wear them all at once. In fact, you should de-cessorize. Maybe remove the ridiculous bright yellow  sunglasses. Maybe go without the randomly placed bandannas. Ease off the gun/tree/animal/random item necklace. Its a new season, a new start to your wayward fashion sense. Do not fret, I’m sure it will be cold enough soon… in Brooklyn, where most people from Florida will surely move to pursue a photography career, only to return and live in Boca when they are old.

Don't get caught looking like this, fa sho.

Don't get caught lookin like this, fa sho

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2 Responses to “I Hate the Things You Like: cool weather accessories”

  1. shit! so many keffiyehs, it melts my brain. that’s also a good sign it’s not winter.

  2. lora withano Says:

    thank you for this. i love you.

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