Archive for the Bad Shit Category

HIP HOP LIVES! DO THA STANKY LEGG!

Posted in Bad Shit, Good Shit with tags , , , , , , , on March 3, 2009 by Ben Badio

THIS IS THE FUTURE OF MUSIC

GS Boys – Stank Legg

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Can MSTRKRFT Save Electro? Probably Not…

Posted in Bad Shit, bangers, DJs, Good Shit, Indie with tags , , , , , , , , on February 12, 2009 by Ben Badio
What the fuck is took you guys so long?

What the fuck is took you guys so long?

It’s been too long. Far, far far too long since MSTRKRFT has released their electro MSTRPC (masterpiece), The Looks. Now, about 3 years later, Canada’s synth-shredding superheroes are finally ready to release their long awaited sophomore effort, Fist of God.

After 2008, an entire year deprived of quality electro, will MSTRKRFT be able to revive the young and dying genre? Will Fist of God jumpstart the electro renaissance of ’06/’07. Unfortunately, I think not.

For this second LP, those crazy Canadians have enlisted the vocal help of a slew of artists, including Ghostface Killa and E-40, but I assure you, this wont help resusitate a quickly dying breed. The only thing that this new album guarantees is the complete transformation of electro, from underground club gold to mainstream radio crud. MSTRKRFT’s tracks WILL receive radio play. I’m predicting that now. That’s not even a bold prediction, see as how Crookers have managed to seep into the airwaves through their remix of Kid Cudi’s “Day and Night.” MSTRKRFT will manage to have the first (and last) decent electro track climb up the charts, and once that happens we all know what comes next:

PSEUDO-INDIE

I’m not going to post any of their new tracks, since they aren’t that great and we’d probably be asked to take them down anyway. Instead I’m going to take you back in time, so that you can reminisce about the era in which MSTRKRFT was DFA 1979…with drum sequencers.

Panthers – Thank Me With Your Hands (my favorite MSTRKRFT remix)

Bloc Party – Two More Years (It’s better than the original)

Wolfmother – Woman (Remember Wolfmother?)

Pseudo Indie #3: 808s and Heartbreak

Posted in Auto-Tune, Bad Shit, kanye west, Pseudo-Indie with tags , , , , , , , , on November 24, 2008 by Ben Badio

Today marks the release of Kanye West’s fourth full length album, entitled 808s and Heartbreak, and I have enough of an indie music spidey-sense to recognize that lame alt kids across the world will fully embrace Kanye’s most recent effort, regardless of how terrible it is.

(

Listening to this album breaks my heart ūüė¶

Did I mention it’s terrible?

The album was produced entirely by West himself, with a bit of help from No I.D, in only 2 weeks. Nearly the entire album is sample free, which is a new direction of Kanye, a man once considered a sampling guru. All of the songs are love-related, and all of them include Kanye’s vocals, which are mediocre even when smothered in auto-tune effects. In the first half of the album it seems that Mr. West can’t decide whether he wants his tracks to be minimal or epic, leading to clashing tones and awkward choir synths, and songs that sound like the theme from Terminator.

Let me be blunt: There is nothing indie/alternative/counter-mainstream about listening to Kanye West. Every Kanye full-length has gone platinum many times over, meaning EVERYONE likes Kanye, not just you eclectic indie/underground hip-hop enthusiasts. I honestly love Kanye’s previous work, but if you’re going to choose any album NOT to purchase this holiday season, let 808s and Heartbreak be the one. These two tracks are some of the finer parts of the album, which isn’t saying much at all. The first features the up-and-coming Kid Cudi

Kanye West feat. Kid Cudi – Welcome to Heartbreak

This next track is the best the album has to offer, but it sounds like it was once a Chromeo B-side.

Kanye West feat. Mr. Hudson – Paranoid

Pseudo-Indie #2: Shwayze

Posted in Bad Shit, Pseudo-Indie with tags , , , , , , , , on October 20, 2008 by Ben Badio

MEET SHWAYZE

This is NOT a scene from a Michel Gondry video.

This is NOT a scene from a Michel Gondry video.

*Play this as you read for the full Pseudo-Indie Experience. Download if you wish*

Shwayze – Polaroid

It took me longer than usual to write start this post because I really don’t know what I want to say about Shwayze. There’s just too much to hate. This is a man who lives the pseudo-indie life. He inhales air and exhales pseudo-indie. Look at his disastrously overdone pseudo-minimal fashion sense. Notice his pseudo-intelligent, pseudo-clever lyricism. Let this be known: If you have your own show on MTV, YOU ARE NOT INDIE. This kind of false indie appeal should be criminalized. His style of pseudo-indie-ism deserves a whole new category name: PSEUDO-HIPSTER HOP.

I don’t need to explain this. I’ll just post a few pictures and tracks of REAL hipster hop artists.

Who needs hideous colorful backgrounds?

Kid Cudi - He means biz-naz

Kid Cudi+Crookers – Embrace the Martian (Round Table Knights RMX)

Wale - His Hat is cooler than Shwayzes entire persona.

Wale - His hat is cooler than Shwayze's entire persona.

Wale – Good Girls

*NOTE: Yes I know that it is stupid to categorize people as being “indie” and “hipster.” I’m sorry if people use these words against you, but people see something negative about indie music in fashion because of CRAPPY artists like Katy Perry and Shwayze.

I Hate the Things You Like: Michael Cera

Posted in Bad Shit, i hate the things you like with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 3, 2008 by idontgiveafuhhhk

Enter Michael Cera. He is the Katy Perry of the acting world (see post below). He is what Frankie Muniz never was (not funny and popular). Paulie Bleeker has been tearing up the indie film circuit in recent months. There is no 20 year old as popular as Evan. You have likely seen or heard of George Michael Bluth’s accolades in Arrested Development, Superbad, Juno, and most recently Nick and Norah’s something indie title. Wait… I apologize, I seem to have mixed his name up constantly in my writing, those are the characters he portrays. Would you like to know why? ¬†BECAUSE HE ALWAYS PLAYS THE SAME¬†CHARACTER. He is the always the dorky, mostly witty, gets the girl, boring, repetitive, gets on my nerves and I want to yell at him that he has a lisp guy.

Here is that SOB looking iNdIe

Here is that SOB looking iNdIe

With in 6 years, I have little doubt that his dry, same ol character will surely replace Jim on The Office. He gets on my nerves because he might as well¬†continuously¬†be Paulie Bleeker. He doesnt act, he just exists. He also¬†benefits¬†from “Jim Halpert” syndrome. That is where girls love you because you’re funny and mostly dorky, and can be defined as indie, or an ‘individual’. I can only say so much about him, because his characters aren’t deep. I feel as if he sits around listening to Death Cab and eating¬†Swedish¬†Fish. I hear soon he will staring in a movie where he will ride around on a Fixie bike, spouting various quips at main stream adults before¬†reconvening¬†at a local coffee shop to discuss how movies with Shia LaBeouf suck because he sold out and works with Spielberg.

Bottom line. I hate the Things You Like, and I certainly hate Michael Cera, but only slightly less then that nasty kid Jonah Hill. Replace him with Andy Milonakis.

Here is some music. I haven’t found anything too amazing lately, but this stuff is fun.

This one takes ya back. uH.
Mase :: Feels So Good

This song sounds like they  want to be Justice, so if you like them, have a listen.

Cryptonites :: Revolver Disco

Heres one off the new Kid Sister LP
Kid Sister (w/ David Banner) :: Family Reunion

This one is total fun, a Beethoven remix, suck it up and GET IT!
Walter Murphy & the Big Apple Band :: A Fifth of Beethoven (Hidden Cat’s Edit)

Pseudo-Indie #1: Katy Perry

Posted in Bad Shit, Good Shit, Pseudo-Indie, wtf with tags , , , , , on September 27, 2008 by Ben Badio

I’m worried.

I’m worried about “Indie” music as we know it. OPEN YOUR EYES! MTV, VH1, FUSE, BET, the RIAA and ClearChannel are using outdated fashion and ugly graphic design to promote certain artists as being “totally indie.” I feel that it’s my job as a music blog author and a DJ to expose these Indie Imposters. Katy Perry will be the first.

MEET KATY PERRY

This is NOT an American Apparel Ad

This is NOT an American Apparel Ad

*Play this as you read for the full Pseudo-Indie Experience. Download if you wish*

Katy Perry – Ur So Gay

She looks bold, beautiful, and typically indie, but looks can be deceiving. Since 2004, Katy Perry has been working with a production team named The Matrix, a group responsible for introducing the world to artists such as Britney Spears, Avril Lavigne, and Hillary Duff.

As of yet, Katy Perry has released one album via her (major) label, Capitol Records.

One of the Boys

One of the Boys

The lyrics of Perry’s (likely ghost-written) songs are meant to appeal to an audience of Average-Joe pop music lovers looking to feel more eclectic. The idea is that the outlandish (yet unintelligent) lyrical content of her music, along with her overdone pseudo-alternative image will lead out-of-the-loop music un-enthusiasts to believe that Katy Perry encompasses all that is “Indie.”

I WILL NOT BE TRICKED!

*******BONUS BONUS BONUS*******

Recently our favorite pseudo-indie ex-gospel artist released a cover of MGMT’s Electric Feel. It’s quite likely she did this in an attempt to increase her overall “indieness.”

Katy Perry- Electric Feel (MGMT Cover)

DIDN’T WORK.

I Hate the Things You Like: cool weather accessories

Posted in 1, Bad Shit, i hate the things you like with tags , , , , , , , , , on September 25, 2008 by idontgiveafuhhhk

I do not really have a particular reason for writing this aside from just wanting to complain about SOMETHING on this fine morning. Since its a nice cool day here in Orlando (69degress), that means its time for all you mother fuckers to get out your cold weather gear. But wait… It is not nearly cold enough to start wearing scarves, gloves, leggings, right? WRONG. All you indie hipster mother fuckers busted that stuff out over SUMMER. The cold weather just means its time to further over accessorize. Basically, the jokes on you; it is Florida and will be in the mid-80’s by noon, no doubt.

Just because you bought these things doesn’t¬†necessarily¬†mean you have to wear them all at once. In fact, you should de-cessorize. Maybe remove the¬†ridiculous bright yellow¬†¬†sunglasses. Maybe go without the randomly placed bandannas. Ease off the gun/tree/animal/random item necklace. Its a new season, a new start to your wayward fashion sense. Do not fret, I’m sure it will be cold enough soon… in Brooklyn, where most people from Florida will surely move to pursue a photography¬†career, only to return and live in Boca when they are old.

Don't get caught looking like this, fa sho.

Don't get caught lookin like this, fa sho